As I sit here, (at work) I said I got this blog for a reason. I wanted to be able to express myself even if no one reads it. It’s something I wanted to do for myself.
But, I have a hard time starting a new ritual. It takes a look of focus for myself to actually commit to doing something. I usually have no problems the first week, maybe even the first two weeks. Then after that – LIFE HAPPENS – and I get off track.
Especially with two small babies, a husband, a 9-5, a hill of debt. It’s hard to stay focus, but enough of the complaining. What can I do?
Well, you have to get back at it. When i’m playing with my kids, they fall but they get right back up and continue doing what their doing. So that’s what i’m attempting to do. As adults we can become so consumed with the “outside” that we forget what really makes us happy. What we really want to do.
I read an article today about a young woman who followed her dreams. I thought about myself. What happened to my dreams? Where was my passion?
So it leads me here. A need to express myself in different forms. I’ve been away for a minute, and looking at my previous post. They are still relevant. I have still been working out and losing weight (down to 147lbs) but it’s more than that. I’ve set a few goals for myself and we are already 6 months into the year and only 2 of them have been reached.
I always end up in this situations where I have a need and desire to fulfill what makes me happy.
So I ask myself – What makes you happy? Right now as a mom – SLEEP.. haha
But seriously, what do I enjoy doing everyday that I would do regardless of location, regardless of monetary gain, regardless of companionship / company. That’s my happy place.
For me, it’s waking up and knowing all my needs are meet. My food, clothing, shelter are all meet. It’s me knowing I am surrounded my family and loved ones, It’s me having the ability to do whatever I desire for that day.
I love to work-out. Once i get going – i’m unstoppable, but when i fall off, it’s hard to get back up. I joined a running challenge at work last month and I finished in 4th place with 39 miles for the month. The goal was 60. I re-entered the challenge for this month and it was 70 miles and to date, I’ve only completed 6. It’s these situations that make it extremely hard. My boys have not been sleeping good these weeks, mixed in with birthday parties, events, etc. That i just haven’t found the time.
Which is an excuse to say the least. Although valid, an excuse nonetheless.
SO, whats my next move??
I have to pull myself up, and start over again. There is no shame in starting over. There is only shame in giving up.
Today marks the start of something better. I believe in myself that I am destined for greatness, and anything I think I can achieve.
