Kids.. they are life’s greatest gift and life’s greatest headache..lol
I’m a proud mom of two smart and cute little boys. When people tell me..”you got your hands full” I can’t help but to look at them with a side eye. Of course they are a handful, they are two active, rambunctious toddlers. My days are filled with breaking up fights, buying two of everything, and competing at everything. Competitiveness must be a trait of the masculine because everything is about “who can out do, who”. From who can make it to the front door, to who can get dress the quickest, to who can eat all their food (i won’t complain about this one :)), but everything is about competition. I get it, it’s healthy to have someone to keep you on your toes, but when does it become to much?
I always try to improve their brotherly relationship because I want them to know early, that they are their “brothers keeper”. Just this morning, my son Jahlil (4) is a very fast runner. Whereas my son Amir (3) takes his time and is cautious not to fall. Jahlil being himself, runs right around Amir in a race to see who can make it to the car door first. Amir trips over the sprinkler and starts crying. Jahlil then boost about winning the race. While I encourage both of my boys to win. There will be times where someone will lose. In these situations it is tough. While I want to praise Jahlil for winning, I don’t want to make Amir feel bad for losing.
It is moments like this, that I encourage Jahlil to be his “brothers keeper”. After I silently praised him for winning, I asked him to turn around and look at his brother. Jahlil is very good at reading body language. I asked him, “how do you think your brother is feeling right now”. He said, “Mommy he is sad because he fell”. I said, “what can you do, to make him feel better?”. I was pleased to see that Jahlil went over to help his brother up and encourage another race. While Amir’s fall probably wasn’t the main reason for his tears. As i suspect those tears were injunction to fall but more-or-less for losing the race.
Dealing with competitive siblings is hard. I hope it gets easier as they get older, but I’m afraid it wont’t.
How do you deal with these issue??